Why I Built Kneel
The gap I saw, the tools that didn't exist, and why I built an app for power exchange relationships.
I built Kneel because nothing out there looked like my relationship.
It's not a kink
I'm in a female-led relationship. FLR. It's not something I do on weekends or bring out for special occasions. It's how my relationship works. Every day. The structure, the rituals, the roles, the care that goes into maintaining all of it. It's real life. I live and breathe it.
But every app I found treated it like a kink.
Leather textures. Dark red everything. Fetish imagery. Language that felt like it was written for a hookup or a scene, not for two people trying to build a life together. It was all surface. All aesthetic. Like someone saw D/s in a movie and built an app based on that.
And look, I'm not judging anyone's expression. Kink is valid. But that's not what I was looking for. I was looking for something that reflected the quiet, everyday reality of what a dynamic actually looks like when you live it.
The morning check-ins that keep us connected. The protocols that make us feel safe. The contract we revisit when life changes. The small daily acts of service and leadership that nobody else sees. That's the relationship. And none of the tools out there seemed to understand that.
The real dynamic
Power exchange, when you actually live it, is mostly unglamorous. It's consistent. It's showing up on the boring days. It's your partner sending a check-in at noon not because it's exciting but because that's what you committed to. It's reviewing your contract together on a Sunday afternoon.
It's structure as a form of love.
That's what I wanted to see in an app. Not a fetish aesthetic. Just a calm, private space that treats your dynamic like what it is: a real relationship that deserves real tools.
Something where a ritual feels like devotion, not a task to check off. Where a contract is a living agreement between two people, not a novelty. Where the whole thing feels like it was made by someone who actually lives this way.
Because it was.
Kneel started from my FLR experience, but I didn't want to build something that only worked for one dynamic model. D/s looks different for everyone. Male-led, female-led, switches, 24/7, part-time, vanilla couples who just want more structure. I tried to build it so anyone could take what they need from it and make it their own.
Building it
The design decisions came naturally because they came from experience.
Dark mode only. Not for the aesthetic. Because you want this to feel private. Like its own space on your phone, separate from everything else.
Not built around gamification. There are points in the task system because they're useful, but the app isn't designed to make your dynamic feel like a game. It's a relationship tool.
Both perspectives designed equally. The dominant view and the submissive view both get real thought. Because power exchange is reciprocal. The person leading is also serving. Both experiences matter.
No social features. No profiles, no community, no public anything. Your dynamic is yours.
The hard part
Nobody builds products for this space. There's no playbook, no market research, no VC interest. The App Store review process means explaining what power exchange is to someone who might have never heard of it.
Every word on the site, every screenshot, every support message is a balancing act. Be authentic enough that people in the community recognize themselves. Be clear enough that someone discovering these ideas for the first time doesn't feel shut out.
I navigate between those two audiences every day. It's hard. But it matters, because the people who live this way deserve to feel seen by the tools they use.
What it became
People use Kneel in ways I didn't expect. Couples who use contracts to navigate career changes. People who use daily rituals as a mental health anchor. Dynamics across multiple time zones held together by a shared dashboard and a commitment to keep showing up.
Those stories keep me going. Not because the world needed another app. Because the people in these relationships deserve something that takes them as seriously as they take each other.
That's all Kneel is. A tool built by someone who lives this, for people who live this.
If you want to talk, [email protected]. I read everything.